I’m in rewrite on my second novel. I occasionally run into the problem of how to show the reader a character’s thoughts as distinguished from what the character says. There are no precise rules to follow, and that somehow makes it easier to get away with bad writing. In doubt? Put the thought in quotes. Wait … the characters have just been talking, so there are quote marks all over the place. Okay, throw in some italics.
In frustration, I went to the Chicago Manual of Style Forum. Not normally a place for writing advice, but great on so much else …
the original sentence was: Ross took his cue, thinking Enough of this love fest. Time to send this country boy back where he belongs.
I got a great discussion and finally made a very small change, but one which to my ear makes the sentence better: Ross took his cue. Enough of this love fest, he thought. Time to send this country boy back where he belongs.
AND it allowed me to get rid of the italics.
As they say, it’s the writing, stupid.